Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts or images that can cause you to become distressed; although they are a completely normal experience, they can create worry, doubt, and disturbances in managing our day to day lives.

Obsessive Thoughts vs. Intrusive Thoughts

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• There’s a crucial difference between obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts: intrusive thoughts appear spontaneously and may contain disturbing sexual, violent, or inappropriate content. While they can be upsetting, they usually aren’t a sign of an underlying disorder unless they’re continuous. It’s only if these thoughts begin to negatively impact normal functioning that they should be a cause for concern; for example, if you cannot complete tasks daily because of the severity of the thoughts. These kinds of intrusive thoughts are referred to as obsessive because you cannot ignore them. What makes obsessive thoughts different is that they can be a sign of an underlying problem (usually obsessive-compulsive disorder/ OCD)

• If you’re suffering from OCD, intrusive thoughts can cause you to overreact. The fears that develop through the thoughts happen only with things that are important to the person. The basis is different for every OCD patient. Intrusive thoughts from OCD examples include fear of loss in the family, fear of being killed or killing someone else, and other intense end results. The intrusive thoughts of OCD may also contribute to severe social anxiety. Some of the best methods of overcoming overwhelming fears and obsessions is through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). These treatments force patients to rationally focus on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and observe how – they relate. 

• Depression can ensue from succumbing to intrusive thoughts; they are linked as depression causes thought processes that are more prone to be negative, sad, hard to manage, and exhausting. People who suffer from depression will feed into intrusive thoughts and therefore find themselves more depressed. Beyond that, the overwhelming anxiety these intrusive thoughts can cause can eventually cause people to abuse substances and create addictions in order to cope with the condition.

• There is a common myth that intrusive thoughts really occur because we subconsciously want that scenario to happen; this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Everyone has experienced an intrusive thought at least once, and who they are as a person does not line up with the thoughts. 

Stopping intrusive thoughts in their tracks:

Ways for Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

• Making sense of why certain thoughts worry you

Intrusive thoughts attack the significant things in your life, which could include your family, friends, goals, and your reputation. There are many unwanted thoughts running through your mind, but the ones that go against your core values are intrusive, and often depict a visual that is made to upset you. Understanding your core values will help you to understand the thoughts and why they make you feel afraid. 

• Not giving into the thoughts

One coping mechanism is avoidance, often because people don’t know how to deal with them. However, it is important to face these thoughts head on, key not to push it away, tell yourself it’s fine. Accept that the obsessive thought is there and don’t try to resist the experience. 

•  Don’t form new habits

Compulsive behaviors can arise when you try to change your routine based on feeling “safe” from the intrusive thoughts. Compulsions are created when you fall into a habit that you believe will protect your mind from the bad thoughts occurring, such as turning the lights on and off a specific amount of times. 

What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?

In many cases, intrusive thoughts are random, but sometimes they could indicate a bigger mental health issue, such as PTSD. PTSD is a mental health condition that occurs when someone experiences a traumatic event; certain things trigger emotional stress because the person struggles to come to terms with what happened. 

Intrusive thoughts in relationships:

• Intrusive thoughts about a relationship are commonly referred to as relationship OCD; this condition can cause repetitive thoughts that center on doubts or fears about the relationship. Someone who experiences relationship OCD may have do so for the following reasons:

1. They wish they could be happy and safe in the relationship
2. Ruminate on past experiences to determine if they really felt in love or whether their partner loved them or not
3. Fantasize about a different relationship where they didn’t have doubts
4. Analyze feelings to determine if they’re “in love enough” 
5. Experience constant fear and doubt that their partner isn’t “the one”
6. Convince themselves that they don’t have doubt about their relationship
7. Worry constantly whether they have said or done the right thing with their partner(s) in the present or the past
8. Asking their partner for constant reassurance

These thoughts may lead to frustration from significant others, which can then trigger obsessions. The compulsions that follow can range from constantly checking in on their partner to needing excessive reassurance. 

Managing relationship OCD:

1. Don’t try to figure out or “solve” your thoughts: intrusive thoughts are just that; thoughts. It does not mean they need to be attended to analyzed. Thoughts are just the mechanisms of our brain, the same as the beating of our heart is the mechanism of our heart. Attempting to “solve” a thought that is unnatural to you gives the thought a sense of urgency and also, importance

2. Tend to the underlying pain that may be contributing to anxiety about your relationship: Many intrusive thoughts that come from relationship OCD are exaggerated and come from past traumatic experiences. If you do suspect any general doubts you may have, assess them for truth and ask a counselor or psychologist to help you understand the underlying subconscious beliefs that may be leading to them.

3. Maintain open and honest communication: This is especially important for expressing symptoms that seem to be intensifying or that have lasted longer than normally. You’re partner needs to be kept in the loop about what you are experiencing, and them not being aware of your thoughts can lead to misunderstandings 
4. Don’t compare: Already having doubts about your relationship puts you in a vulnerable position that if you do attempt to compare it to other relationships, you only fuel your intrusive thoughts. Doing this can create unrealistic and unhealthy expectations for your relationship