Emotional intimacy is the profound feeling of closeness and connection with someone: in a relationship, emotional intimacy can equate to one feeling seen and heard, leading to partners being able to become vulnerable and empathetic with one another.
What are some signs of motional intimacy?
Feeling safe with your partner and feeling that you can trust them with anything
Providing and receiving regular and consistent, affection whether physical or verbal, and having the desire to be close to your partner whether physically or verbally
Feeling that you have a connection with your partner on a level beyond others in your life; really knowing who they are and them knowing who you are.
Being able to play and joke around with one another, and expressing humor even in the darkest of circumstances.
Feeling that usually you are both open to having honest communication by maintaining an open ear, curiosity to learn and really hearing your partner’s concerns or point of view.
When many people think about developing emotional intimacy with their partner, they often don’t know where to start. Most believe that emotional intimacy is a slow growing process that is nurtured through experiencing meaningful memories or working together through a highly emotional situation. While emotional intimacy does grow tremendously from this, it also occurs through simple everyday discussions that you can have with your partner. The more you reveal about yourself and the more you show a willingness to learn about your partner’s inner thoughts and feelings, the closer you become emotionally.
So, what kind of questions can you ask to emotionally deepen your relationship (to help you understand one another’s values, opinions, struggles, and hopes for the future)?:
When have you felt most proud of our relationship?
What are 5 memories that define the person you are?
When have you felt the most authentic and comfortable in our relationship?
What did your parents teach you about romantic relationships? Things you want to do vs. don’t want to do
What has our relationship taught you about yourself?
What are the biggest ways you think you’ve changed over the past few years?
When did you last cry? What were you crying about?
What would a perfect day together look like for you?
What is a way we have grown together in our relationship? What is a way we have grown as individuals?
When you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, what can I do to help?
What are three values that we share, what are three that we differ on?
What does a balanced relationship look like to you?
What is the best gift I’ve given you? Physical emotional support etc
When have you felt the most deeply connected in our relationship?
How can you tell when I need your support or that I’m struggling? Can you tell?
What would your younger self think of our relationship?
What does vulnerability mean to you?
What are the next steps you envisioned in our relationship? How can we support one another to get there?
Curiosity and relationships are important because people are constantly changing and there’s always more to learn about your partner.
Taking time to develop the emotional component of your relationship can create habits that remind you to do things together as a couple to help you keep the romance alive, regardless of how long you’ve been together. Emotional interchanges, among everything else, create the authentic home needed for everything else to thrive in your relationship, including your social and sex lives. Taking the time and putting in the effort to make sure the intimate parts of your relationship journey are cared for is essential to both your relationship and your own growth as a whole.
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