Center for Love & Marriage

How to Emotionally Deepen Your Relationship

Emotional intimacy is the profound feeling of closeness and connection with someone you feel trusting and trusted toward. In a relationship, that is beyond friendship, emotional intimacy means feeling seen and heard and therefore feeling that you can truly be your self around this human being. Emotional Intimacy cannot be faked because in our gut we are programed and know when we feel safe with someone; there is lots of data being calculated in the back of our brain at a very fast speed, and we don’t even realize much of it as it is taking place. However, the intentional aspect, is the part that is about consciously making the effort to have faith rather than operate from fear. The process of emotional intimacy is a gradual one which leads to partners being able to be vulnerable and empathetic toward one another and to trust that their partner wants has the best of intentions and ultimately has their back. 

What are some signs of emotional intimacy?

When people think about developing emotional intimacy with their partner, they often don’t know where to start. Most believe that emotional intimacy is something they receive from their partner while they themselves struggle with giving it. Emotional Intimacy is a growing process that is nurtured through experiencing life together everyday. Although it is intentional, and sometimes methodical, it is not forceful, nor balanced. In other words, both partners don’t arrive at it at the same time all the time. It requires patience, dedication and most of all consistency. Building an emotional map in a relationship build emotional intimacy in that both partners are making the effort to learn about each other’s fears, triggers, past pains, and values. Therefore, the map is a building of meaningful memories and working together through sometimes highly emotional situations and sometimes through simple everyday discussions that are insightful and show that you are trying to get to know the partner. It does require vulnerability from both sides and the more you reveal about yourself show the willingness to learn about your partner’s inner thoughts and feelings, the more you invite them to do the same.

So, what kind of questions can you ask to emotionally deepen your relationship (to help you understand one another’s values, point of views, struggles, and hopes for the future)?:

Taking time to develop the emotional component of your relationship can create habits that remind you to do things together as a couple to help you keep the romance alive, regardless of how long you’ve been together. Emotional interchanges, among everything else, create the authentic home needed for everything else to thrive in your relationship, including your social and sex lives. Taking the time and putting in the effort to make sure the intimate parts of your relationship journey are cared for is essential to both your relationship and your own growth as a whole. 



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